Emily and Tycho play a game called Candy Crush Saga, but you can call it “Ball Crush Saga,” if you want. They try not to get addicted, be tracked by the NSA, or commit trademark infringement. They stand up for heroin addicts. Emily hires a guy to yell “sweet!” and “crush!” when she does household chores. Tycho says “f**k you” a record number of times. He also has no interest in your boobs.